The Underbelly of Healing

12th May 2023 Written by Dvonne Loring

Healing in the new age, spiritual spaces is likened to ‘enlightenment’ where you transcend your pain, eradicate trauma and become untouchable by life’s throes

In the psychology space, the focus is to abate symptoms

We believe healing will set us free, where we become ‘healed’ and thus the work is done

This is dangerously arrogant

Healing does invite a freedom

A freedom to be more of who you are and have always been

Yet…

Carving the path for your authenticity can be gruelling, arduous and feel like the most challenging work you’ve ever engaged in

What often isn’t spoken about when you begin to create new patterns that are informed by new behaviours born from the discovery your healing illuminates for you is...

You might suddenly become aware of just how exhausted you are

Activities you once enjoyed feel meaningless

What you do for work may come under scrutiny and you may find yourself asking - 'do I still want to do this?'

Situations or dynamics you were once unbothered by begin to rouse you in uncomfortable ways

The people, connections, friendships and relationships in your life that once felt full may begin to feel despairingly empty

You may find yourself feeling so fucking alone, where loneliness hangs heavy on your bones

You begin to question your sense of belonging and ask yourself - ‘who are my people?’

What you’re willing to tolerate changes

You find yourself sitting with unbelievable amounts of guilt because you’re saying no to others more and saying yes to yourself

You’re frequently disappointing people and letting people down

You are torn between the tension to honestly communicate and the desire to hide

You’re closing the gap between how you feel and how you appear

You’re unwilling to abandon yourself which thrusts you into situations that ask for courage you don’t yet feel you have

.

The dark night of the soul is relentless

It’s an initiation

Inviting you to walk this line of fire that’s burning away what has kept you disconnected from yourself

It’s terrifying, painfully so

Every part of you wants to return to where it was once safe

You’re meeting dark places within where you soul’s pupils dilate

It is in this very darkness that clarity crystalises

You will be stunned by the magnitude of bravery you’re being called into to face the truth

And not just any truth, but your Truth

Your healing journey will contain both agony and exhilaration, and everything in between

You didn’t choose the past, but it is now your responsibility

Feel the heartache and victimhood in that reality

And feel empowered by the anger and agency that that reality also serves

Have faith in your greatness

Because you are rebuilding what once felt irreparable

You’re learning to reveal what has been long kept hidden

You are remembering where your heart was broken and loving yourself right there

You’re inviting your love to leave a legacy

Your being is reorienting itself

You’re experiencing a death of who you thought you were

Who you thought you needed to be

Who you were told, conditioned and brainwashed to become

You’re awakening the allure of your unlived life

The process is messy and it’s fucking hard darlings

But you’re worth fighting for because you belong to life

You are life expressing itself

And your authenticity is your gift to offer to the world

.

It becomes easier

Who you are has a rhythm that you sync with

You become resourced by the power of your sovereignty

.

Here’s to finding your way back home

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