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dvonneloring
May 12, 2023

The Underbelly of Healing

12th May 2023 Written by Dvonne Loring

Healing in the new age, spiritual spaces is likened to ‘enlightenment’ where you transcend your pain, eradicate trauma and become untouchable by life’s throes


In the psychology space, the focus is to abate symptoms


We believe healing will set us free, where we become ‘healed’ and thus the work is done


This is dangerously arrogant


Healing does invite a freedom


A freedom to be more of who you are and have always been


Yet…


Carving the path for your authenticity can be gruelling, arduous and feel like the most challenging work you’ve ever engaged in


What often isn’t spoken about when you begin to create new patterns that are informed by new behaviours born from the discovery your healing illuminates for you is...


You might suddenly become aware of just how exhausted you are


Activities you once enjoyed feel meaningless


What you do for work may come under scrutiny and you may find yourself asking - 'do I still want to do this?'


Situations or dynamics you were once unbothered by begin to rouse you in uncomfortable ways


The people, connections, friendships and relationships in your life that once felt full may begin to feel despairingly empty


You may find yourself feeling so fucking alone, where loneliness hangs heavy on your bones


You begin to question your sense of belonging and ask yourself - ‘who are my people?’


What you’re willing to tolerate changes


You find yourself sitting with unbelievable amounts of guilt because you’re saying no to others more and saying yes to yourself


You’re frequently disappointing people and letting people down


You are torn between the tension to honestly communicate and the desire to hide


You’re closing the gap between how you feel and how you appear


You’re unwilling to abandon yourself which thrusts you into situations that ask for courage you don’t yet feel you have


.


The dark night of the soul is relentless


It’s an initiation


Inviting you to walk this line of fire that’s burning away what has kept you disconnected from yourself


It’s terrifying, painfully so


Every part of you wants to return to where it was once safe


You’re meeting dark places within where you soul’s pupils dilate


It is in this very darkness that clarity crystalises


You will be stunned by the magnitude of bravery you’re being called into to face the truth


And not just any truth, but your Truth


Your healing journey will contain both agony and exhilaration, and everything in between


You didn’t choose the past, but it is now your responsibility


Feel the heartache and victimhood in that reality


And feel empowered by the anger and agency that that reality also serves


Have faith in your greatness


Because you are rebuilding what once felt irreparable


You’re learning to reveal what has been long kept hidden


You are remembering where your heart was broken and loving yourself right there


You’re inviting your love to leave a legacy


Your being is reorienting itself


You’re experiencing a death of who you thought you were


Who you thought you needed to be


Who you were told, conditioned and brainwashed to become


You’re awakening the allure of your unlived life


The process is messy and it’s fucking hard darlings


But you’re worth fighting for because you belong to life


You are life expressing itself


And your authenticity is your gift to offer to the world


.


It becomes easier


Who you are has a rhythm that you sync with


You become resourced by the power of your sovereignty


.


Here’s to finding your way back home



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