Survival Mode & Sickness

27th April Written by Dvonne Loring

I was unwell the past week coming down with a mild cold

I could feel the natural downshift start to occur

A turning inward happening on a physical, emotional, social and energetic level

I liken it to the body’s process of cocooning for necessary protection during a time of healing + recovery

This didn’t come without some resistance

My mind began to race

“There’s so much to do”

“I don’t have the energy to do what I need to”

“What about my business?”

Early signs that survival mode was switching on for me

When we’re unwell, especially when there’s physical discomfort, this activates our nervous system

Have you ever wondered why you can be a little more snappy, irritable, vulnerable, agitated and/or have increased sensitivity when you’re feeling under the weather?

Both physical and emotional pain activate the nervous system in the same way and light up the same parts of the brain

I began to feel huge discomfort for not being able to give as much as I would like or usually do

I felt like I was letting my loved ones and my business down

I started showing up with a different motivator

A darker and more insidious one that I’m all too familiar with

“I’m not good enough”

This story has created enormous implications in my life

Living from this place is deeply unsustainable because it further disconnects you from the very thing that guides you - connection to your knowing

It’ll create thoughts like -

“I need to hurry up, get better and come back twice as strong, make up for lost time and pick up for where I’ve fallen behind”

How seamless it was to abandon myself and not listen to what I truly needed and that was simply TLC

As women, leading busy lives, with survival mode in the mix, it can be extremely difficult to allow ourselves to slow down, to rest, to ask for support, to be held, to be cared for not only by others but also by ourselves

Culturally we are told the more selfless we are, the more honourable we are

This is hurting us in fundamental ways

Rather than living and leading from a place of deep connection with ourselves, our soul aches from exhaustion and the perpetual disconnection we experience with ourselves

I don’t have a fluffy, shiny, neatly and perfectly packaged solution

To heal means to sit with all of this

Notice the mental chatter that’s mobalising your body into action when really your body is hungry for rest

Notice your heart pounding and your breath shorten as you oversee your entire to do list

Notice the guilt that churns your stomach and tightens your chest when you have to say no

Feel what it’s like to disappoint people and hold yourself right there

Not running to fix, save or change

Or retreating, avoiding or collapsing

Simply be with the experience in the moment

To unlearn hustle culture and heal from survival mode - this is the work

Becoming aware of what triggers the onset of survival mode and learning to be present with our experience can be deeply empowering because it allows us to opportunity to respond rather than unconsciously react in ways that don’t nourishingly serve us

If this is something you’d like support with, Healing Survival Mode is my signature coaching program that guides women to reconnect with themselves so that they can live a meaningful and sustainable life.

Learn more here

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#peoplepleasing #selfdoubt #overachievement #perfectionism #survivalpatterns