Importance of Authenticity

Written by Dvonne Loring

“Authenticity - the quality of being true to oneself, and the capacity to shape one’s own life from a deep knowledge of that self” - Gabor Mate

Why is authenticity so important to me?

I was in a therapy session many years ago where I was guided through a somatic process

My eyes closed, turning inward as I dropped into layers of unmet, frozen feeling

Acquainting myself in this uncharted landscape, I unearthed something paramount within

“I am a good person”

These weren’t just words

I connected with the felt experience of this within my body for the first time

This was a remarkable discovery because my entire life, I’d truly believed I wasn’t

I’d found an internal reference point for what had always been my Truth that I had become disconnected from

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When you grow up only understanding how to please, obey, follow and comply

Where boundaries don’t exist

Where codependence breeds

Where who you are isn’t welcome or have a place to belong

Your authenticity suffers

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It was only upon embarking upon my healing journey that I realised the gravity and breadth of suffering being disconnected from myself was having on me

The self doubt

The bleak emptiness

The lack of direction

The overwhelming fear

The punitive self aggression

The soul destroying shame

The choking suppression

The gripping loneliness

I didn’t know where I was in time and space

I had no real sense of where I as a sovereign person ended and others and the world began

I even remember feeling times where I didn’t feel real, like I wasn’t fully there

I didn’t know who the fuck I was

It was hurting me

And yet, I didn’t know any different

The choice to self abandon wasn’t a conscious one

No, it was an unconscious one driven by the need to be loved as a dependent child

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The journey of reconnecting with myself has been a home coming I didn’t realise I was yearning for

Discovering I have a voice of my own, with my own independent experiences, thoughts, perspectives, opinions, wants, needs and desires

I was able to claim my story, where I had previously feared retribution from those who were involved

I began reconnecting with my gifts

My heart

My curiosity

My appreciation for beauty

I began landing back in my body and finding safe sanctuary here

Self trust started to become available to me that opened up doors of possibility and potential 

A new feeling was greeting me

It was self belief

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This is a slow process

And so it should be

Do not rush what deserves time and spaciousness to return 

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I’m humbled by the power authenticity bestows you

I see it both in my clients and in myself

It’s who you are

It’s your intuition

Your inner wisdom

Your higher self

Your spirit

Your soul

It’s life force and it’s all encompassing

There’s an ease

A trust

A clarity

A knowing

A holding that greets you

It’s gentle yet fierce and makes itself known

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To be who you are is the greatest gift you can offer the world

You have a uniqueness that is here to contribute to the mosaic of life

And yet you may be walking around, just as I was, unaware that there is infinite beauty to your very existence

Who you are matters

The world needs you 

Not who you think you need, should or have to be

But simply as you

Authenticity doesn’t mean

That you never feel -

Upset, split, torn, confused, numb, vulnerable

That you don’t have insecurities, resistance, fears or doubts 

There can be a misconception with the understanding of authenticity

Being authentic is being true to you, who you are, how you’re feeling moment to moment 

This includes acknowledging where you are being inauthentic 

“Commitment to observe one’s inauthenticity is actually that path back to authenticity” - Gabor Mate

Noticing where you’re avoiding yourself

Noticing your self denying traits

Noticing where it’s hard to love yourself

Noticing where you struggle to be honest with yourself

Noticing where it’s hard accept

It’s the practice of meeting yourself exactly. where. you. are.

And expanding your capacity to give all parts of you the permission to exist

Authenticity is the invitation to acknowledge, accept and welcome all of this

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So to answer why authenticity is so important to me?

It has given me freedom, permission, purpose and meaning where I otherwise had none

My responsibility now as an adult is returning to those abandoned places within and reconnecting with the parts I had to leave behind

Inhabiting my authenticity is a journey of embodying my humanity

And it is a path that I’m am devoted to

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If this touches you

You and I are alike in that we share the value of authenticity

If you want a safe space to allow who you are to unfurl

To welcome it with gentle love alongside other brave and beautiful women

Becoming You: Meet Disconnection and Discover Your Authenticity has been created for you

This is an intimate group coaching container where you are invited to be honest with yourself 

Where you don’t have to hide your fears or insecurities 

Where you get to connect with your beauty, your power and your essence

You get to connect with your own humanity in the way it has always needed and deserved

Limited spots are still available 

To claim one or to learn more, click here

We begin June 18th 2024

xx