Getting Back to Basics

18th January 2024 Written by Dvonne Loring

Christmas Day was particularly rough for me last year

It was the first I intentionally chose to spend on my own as a result of asserting bold (and necessary) boundaries 

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I woke up feeling like gravity had been turnt up

I felt both a physical and an emotional heaviness I knew would multiply if I didn’t leave my bed

I decided to take myself out for an early morning walk

There wasn’t another soul in sight as I walked along the 5:30am streets

Though it felt eerie, it also felt comforting having privacy in public with no one else around

Unbeknownst to me at the time, a new daily ritual was born that day

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Enjoying slow mornings where I’d ever so slowly wake up, roll over and begin journaling was a practice I felt proud of creating for myself

Mornings for most of my life had a tendency to be anywhere from unsettling to excruciating

The download of all my worries, stresses and anxieties would hit me

I’d be met with a heightened, activated and dysregulated nervous system right before I’d open my eyes

I’d feel defeated by the day before it had even begun

With the chronic too-muchness I faced in 2023, I’ve returned to this familiar yet uneasy place when it comes to mornings

My wholesome morning practice that I'd created no longer offers me the soothing it once had

Instead, I’ve found gently getting myself up and out has been so softly nourishing

It trips the circuit of the ruminating that can become a black hole I struggle to get out of

I often catch part of the sunrise

I have a few familiar markers on my walk - 

I pass some lavender where I enjoy its aroma

I’m always stopped in my tracks by some delightful jasmine

A rosemary bush awakens my senses

And I say good morning to the wild rabbits that hop around the wetlands for their morning feed

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As I navigate this delicate process of recovery from 2023, it’s been important to remember that I can’t escape the pain I’m in

In doing so will only prolong it

My god it’s uncomfortable

Though what I can do is find nourishing ways to carry me through as the process inevitably unfolds

Don’t get me wrong, I can get ahead of myself 

A (big) part of me is impatient

It wants to rush the emotional healing and recovery

I reflect on all the ways I could be thriving and how I want more for me, my business and my life right now

I wish I had more energy and enthusiasm for the things I want to do 

But the focus right now is getting back to the basics 

The discipline here is focusing and prioritising my energy on what I need 

This simply looks like - 

• Eating well

• Sleeping well

• Lovingly moving my body

• Contact with nature

• Connection and expression in ways that feel safe and supportive for me

This reinforces the foundations upon which all the rest can take place

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It feels vulnerable sharing from this place

I’m choosing to share because often we feel that we can only reveal ourselves when we have it figured out

When the lessons have distilled, we’ve come out the other side and are no longer in the dark

I don’t want to show up in my business (or in life) only when I’m bursting with inspiration 

I wanna show up through the many different colours and seasons

So, here I am

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I’m not immune to feeling like by taking really good care of myself I’m not doing enough

Especially in a cultural context that tells you your worth is based on how much you do and how productive you are

But I don’t want to push through

I did enough of that last year to which I’m now licking my wounds for the harm that has caused

I want this experience to help me land even deeper into who I am

I acknowledge this tension as I hold myself -right here-

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Sending you the love and courage to honour your process at the pace in which feels serving for you

And may you feel accomplished in choosing to take care of yourself

Xx