Doing What's Right, is Hard

19th February 2024 Written by Dvonne Loring

Sometimes doing what’s right for us doesn’t feel good

This is a theme I’ve been becoming familiar with lately

I made some big, bold decisions at the end of last year that were in support of my integrity 

I made choices that were telling myself I mattered

And yet I was confused as to why I didn’t -feel- good about it

Instead I felt sadness

I felt resentment that I had to make those decisions in the first place because I didn’t want to

Above all

I felt (and am still feeling) insurmountable amounts of grief 

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Healing doesn’t always feel good in the moment

It’s like going to the gym to workout

It’s strenuous, you’re exploring physical limits, you may likely experience pain, discomfort and put your body under controlled stress but this effort offers benefits and value to your overall health

The same principle applies to your healing journey

There are (often) going to be times when you don’t want to do something because it may evoke fear, pain and/or discomfort

For eg.

• Expressing hurt feelings

• Having a difficult conversation

• Holding a boundary when someone you love is challenging it

• Being honest and speaking up when you’d otherwise silence yourself or tell mistruths

You may feel deeply rewarded when you do something that tests you 

But don’t feel disheartened if you don’t feel accomplished or proud after hard moments

Sometimes doing what is right for you doesn’t feel good, but you do it anyway because it’s for the greater good of yourSelf

You do it because taking care of yourself is your greatest responsibility 

“Sometimes you have to make decisions that break your heart but protect your peace” - Jb Copeland

We have been sold the idea that choosing what’s right for us is going to be easy

Sometimes it is

Sometimes it’s effortless

And other times

These are the hardest decisions we face

Sometimes we’re made to choose between what we want and what we need

Sometimes we’re asked to let go of something that we want to hold onto forever

.

I’m yet to feel empowered by the decisions I made last year

I’m yet to admire my bravery for having done what I did

I’m yet to feel like I could comfortably do it again if need be

I’m yet to absorb the wisdom tucked within my wounds

But I know I did what I had to at the time

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So darlings this is the reminder I want to leave with you -

Allow your process to unfold as it needs to

Tend to what’s arising as it is and in the order and sequence that it is

That includes tending to the sequence even though you feel it’s out of order

Sometimes there are unsuspecting things needing your attention first in your process, honour that

Easy decisions aren’t always the right ones

The right ones can be hard

There is healing within the slow, progressive and accumulative effects of making the right decisions for yourself

Keep choosing you

xx